So I kind of realized something yesterday:
I might have been lucky that our first IVF cycle was a total failure. My hubby did some research about poor egg quality. We definitely fit the criteria. Well with bad eggs there is not enough energy to sustain cell division. This explains why our embryos were slow to start and also why none of them made it to the blast stage (not even the two they implanted), and why we weren't able to freeze any of them.
We were so devastated (and still are) that it didn't work. But back to the research: Even if we did have implantation, many pregnancies with poor eggs lead to a miscarriage. Now that I don't think I could recover from. So maybe this was God's way of saving us from even more pain down the line. And he even provided us with my twin sister, who has agreed to be our egg donor.
So thank you God. I am still trying to understand your path for us, but I think I have accepted this.
12 comments:
That's amazing that you have a twin who can donate eggs for you! I'm sorry it didn't work the first time, but I'm happy for you and your new plan!!
Great way to look at it!! Keep your head up and stay positive. It will work out!!
Hi Diane! I am so sorry about the BFN & the egg issue. Your sister is totally awesome to be willing to help you. I have a 2nd cousin who used a donor & now has two beautiful sons. I wish you all the best & pray that God blesses you with a child very soon.
ive always said the same thing-that a miscarriage would ruin me. infertility is one thing, but losing a baby is a whole other ball game.
i want nothing more than for this to work with your donor eggs!
Our God is amazing and his plan for us is bigger than we will ever know. Im glad you are working towards acceptance because I believe that one day, this is all going to be worth it for you!
There have been many times in my life where I was mad at where life was taking me cuz it wasn't part of "my plan". But then looking back its exactly where I was suppose to be. I think you guys are on the right path and all the heartache you went through before was part of your path to happiness.
i love you and can't wait to be there for you guys!
-Debbie
What an awesome sister!
In my situation, I've realized the same thing as you! That maybe God didn't want me going through a miscarriage as that would be too tough for me.
I'm so glad you e-mailed. :)
It's amazing how things sometimes turn out to be blessings in disguise...even if we don't realize it at the time.
I just found your blog and wanted to tell you that you guys are in my prayers for a good ending to all of this craziness. Your strength and positive attitude is amazing. Keep it up.
It is so hard to know what to wish for through this process but I think you have come to a really logical conclusion here that can help you think about it in a way that brings peace. As someone who did get pg from IVF #1 and went through a miscarriage (and then uterine scarring from the D&E, followed by an operative hysteroscopy to remove said scarring), I am sort of the scenario you are imagining here...I have thought more than once that I wished that pg didn't happen since it didn't result in anything good...but I guess all we can do is dust ourselves off and look for the positive -- which is what you're doing so well! Here's to success with IVF #2 for both of us.
((BIG HUGS))
You are so right. God is so amazing! And while we don't understand his plans, we can be confident that He is in control and His will is what is best for us.
I hope the best for you, Dianne! How wonderful that you have a twin sister that is willing to help you!
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