Spotting

Well I am going to start AF soon; I have been spotting for a few days. I can 't wait to FINALLY start BCP for IVF # 2. I am still hoping to be done with the IVF process by July. But I have learned to never time out anything when it comes to Infertility!

In other news, I went to California for my twin sister's college graduation! It was awesome!!! Congrats Debbie!!!

A Sister's Love

Let me start this post by thanking everyone for their support. As some of you know I have a twin sister named Debbie. She just got engaged and is graduating from college in May. She has offered to put her life on hold and be our egg donor.

Since our doctor feels we have an egg quality issue (and since we didn't qualify for Shared Risk) my husband and I are extremely hesitant to put ourselves through another unsuccessful IVF attempt. We could move on to anonymous donor but we also are not ready to move on to that just yet. And since God has blessed me with a twin sister we feel that this might be the only way for us to have our biological child (same DNA). Gratefully Debbie has had a normal medical history, which gives me so much hope that this will work!

I can't tell you how weird it feels to know that I will have to not only watch her go through what I went through but I get to give her the injections! I guess I will get to see what my husband went through watching me (although I poked myself!)

We still have to do the testing, figure out how we are going to finance this and all that; but this feels like the right step. And can't believe that this is actually happening. We still might get "our" baby after all.

Part of me is still really sad that it won't be me doing all this. And I feel so guilty to put my sis through it as well; but mostly I feel so proud of her and so grateful that she would do this no questions asked.

Love you Sis!

Beaten Down

So I am in a really bad mood right now. I am so stressed about financing IVF, and whether or not we will qualify for it and the Shared Risk Program. I was approve for half of the amount for Shared Risk so that leaves us with another 10,000 dollars to come up with, not to mention the cost of medication!!!

I am so ready to just throw in the towel. I want a baby more than anything but I don't want to think about this anymore. I fell like at any moment I might punch a wall, or start crying hysterically. I hat the waiting. I can't believe that this is all going to boil down to money. If we would have applied 6 months ago we would have qualified no problem, but now no one wants to give out money!

If anyone has any ideas about financing please let me know!!

Sono-Mock checked off my to do list!

Well I had my Sono-Mock yesterday. In a word it was HORRIBLE!!!! I almost fainted when the let my get up to go to the bathroom. I have no idea why!! The HSG and IUI's I have done were much worse but for some reason I almost fainted!!! I took it easy for the rest of the day, and am back to myself this morning! I am just glad it is over with and we are on our way to being closer to IVF!!!

By the way the results were normal except for two "para-ovarian cysts" near my remaining ovary. And my doc said "You look a little poly-cystic" I was happy and frightened to hear this! Why? Because unexplained fertility sucks! And I knew that I had some symptoms of PCOS (acne - check (thankfully this is under control as I have gotten older but in high school sucked!, oily skin - check, skin tags (dark spots that appear around arm pits and breasts)- check (these started to pop up after I went off birth controls pills), overweight - no, but when I do gain weight it goes right to my midsection!, hormone and insulin levels - all normal)

It is so weird to hear some sort of confirmation about my suspicions. Maybe that is why I had to have surgery all those years ago.

I will be put on Metforin anyways so this should help if I do have some form of PCOS. So I am not too worried, and my doc seemed like it wasn't a big deal either.

Next thing on the to do list KSM semen analysis.

Starting IVF

Well obviously our third insemination didn't work. We our now officially moving on to IVF. We had an appointment with our RE on Tuesday. She said it was time to move on. We are seriously considering the shared risk program offered at our doc's office. You basically pay for a little less than two fresh cycles, but you get 3 fresh cycles and three frozen embro transfers. And if at the very end there is no baby you get a 70% refund. It is risky but would definetly be worth it if it takes more than one attempt.

This month we are going to do all the testing we need to get done (Sono-mock, bloodwork, Another semen anaylsis, etc.) I might start the birth control pills this month or we might wait a while. We are going to have our financial appointment on Thursday so we will know more then (like if we qualify for the shared risk program).

So right now it is a little up in the air. I am still a little in shock that we have to do IVF. But I am excited to have a plan that is our best shot. I will keep you updated on our decisions on when to start, but just know that it is soon!!!!